How to be an anti-perfectionist

I’m kind of an anti-perfectionist, ideologically.

I think perfectionism is borne of a capitalist hustle culture that doesn’t match my chosen values. I see how there’s a patriarchal element to perfectionism that crams the message “women have to be perfect to prove their worth” down our throats at every turn, in every magazine, on every TV show. I see how I weaponize perfection against myself, to diminish my accomplishments and keep me stuck.

But when I sit down to write, I’m overwhelmed by thoughts like:

  • This isn’t good enough

  • This sounds stilted

  • You’re not saying this right

  • You should be funnier / smarter / more serious

  • You should be better at this

Why the mismatch?

Because even though I’ve made a conscious decision to reject perfectionism ideologically, I have decades of internalized perfectionism to contend with.

Which means: Hundreds of sneaky little thoughts that my brain offers up every time I move to create something new in the world.

This is why I find coaching so valuable.

Coaching is, essentially, a method of rooting out and changing internalized programming so that my thoughts actually match my chosen values.

Which looks like getting perspective from someone who can see beyond my reality and challenge me to view things in a new way.

Which looks like becoming aware of my internalized beliefs and then literally setting an alarm to practice thoughts that I’ve CHOSEN rather than the ones that society has handed to me.

Thoughts like:

  • Writing a messy draft is a VICTORY

  • People need honesty and truth more than they need perfection

  • I am helping simply by showing up as myself

  • Following my curiosity is how I bring life to this story

  • The more I practice these thoughts, the more accessible they are to me when I sit down to create.

And the more distance I can get from perfectionist thoughts that are furthering a belief system I disagree with.

Which translates to: creating with more joy and ease, as an act of love.

If you want to explore how you’ve internalized social messaging that doesn’t actually align with your values, book a consult. I can help.

Elana McKernan